


I'll Miss You Again

by queenbyun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, eruri is endgame though - Freeform, slight!ereri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 19:08:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenbyun/pseuds/queenbyun
Summary: Erwin is the sun—warm, bright, and beautiful—and Levi is anything but. A man like Erwin isn't meant to be with someone like him, and he knew that. The sun shines on all the flowers, but the flowers only know one sun.





	I'll Miss You Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written while listening to: Taemin's Love

“I want to break up.”

Levi whips his head around, hands stilling from dunking the tea bag into his mug. He’s sure he heard his boyfriend wrong—he must have—and he squints at the blond seated at the kitchen island. Levi searches his handsome face for answers. He hopes to see perhaps a glimmer of humor, or even a hint of disorientation in the depths of his gorgeous blue orbs. Instead, he finds steely resolve written in his furrowed eyebrows and the tightness in the corners of his mouth. Fuck, he actually heard what he thought he heard.

“What the fuck, Erwin?” Levi turns to face him slowly, abandoning the rapidly cooling cup of tea. “Have you lost your mind?”

Levi can pretend all he wants that he didn’t see it coming, that Erwin just sprang this shit on him out of the god damn blue, but deep down, he knew. Erwin stopped coming home on time, leaving Levi to sit at home alone at a cold dinner for two. He stopped waking Levi in the morning by peppering light kisses all over his face. Instead, Levi awakes in the morning to an empty side of the bed, his warmth long gone. Somewhere along the line, Erwin stopped loving him.

He had wanted to talk to Erwin about what happened, he really did. Unfortunately, Levi isn’t great with words, and he never has been. The one time he tried to approach Erwin, he gripped the teacup in his hands tightly to hide the trembling in his fingers. He lingered at the door of Erwin’s office for a good minute, mustering up the courage to open his mouth. When he finally did, he took a large breath.

“Hey old man, if you spend another second haunched over your desk you’re gonna keel over and die. I have some tea in the kettle. It’s still warm,” he called out bluntly, secretly proud of his nonchalance. He’d been hoping to coax Erwin out of his study and maybe talk to him over tea.

“Not now, Levi.” Erwin’s tone was stern and cold. He never even looked up from the papers fanned out on his desk. “You know better than to disturb me when I’m working.”

And that was that. Levi had heard Erwin use that voice over the phone with his subordinates, but never with him. Now that the indifference was directed towards him, Levi found that any snappy comeback he normally would’ve made had died on the tip of his tongue. He let out a shaky sigh, and left with a heavy heart.

So they never talked. Erwin continued to distance himself more and more, and Levi let him. Although, Levi supposes, they’re having the talk right now, just like he wanted, even if it’s headed in a direction that makes Levi’s stomach tighten with dread.

“I want to break up,” Erwin repeats firmly.

Levi scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair, growing more and more agitated by the second. “Great,” he says, “fucking great.” No response.

“Three years, Erwin,” he chimes, determined to make Erwin feel as shitty as he’s feeling. “Down the drain, just like that.” Still, no response. Not even a single twitch of an eye.

Fuck it, Levi thinks, he’s got nothing else to lose now, nothing to fear. All he wants now is to see Erwin shaken up. He wants to see Erwin bleeding, just like he is. Taking a few quick strides forward, Levi slams both palms on the marble kitchen table and leans in until his nose is barely brushing the tip of Erwin’s beakish nose. The man doesn’t flinch, and that infuriates Levi even more.

“Aren’t you gonna say anything, you shitty bastard?” Levi sneers, adrenaline rushing in his blood, “don’t you think you owe me a fucking explanation, at least?” Erwin meets Levi’s eyes straight on, unfazed.

“I don’t have the time for a relationship anymore.” Erwin says evenly, looking at Levi through hooded lids. “I’m getting busier at work. Mr. Shadis is grooming me for that promotion, you know that, Levi. It’s all or nothing. I devote all my time to my work, and that’s not fair to you.”

Levi snorts. “Look at you, aren’t you a noble one? A fucking gentleman. Deciding what is and isn’t fair for me” He scrutinizes the man, narrowing his eyes. “I call bullshit, Erwin. You’re no busier than you always have been. Tell me the truth.”

Erwin’s breath hitches at that. Finally, Levi’s getting a rise out of him. “Sharp as always,” Erwin murmurs. He sounds reminiscent, with a nostalgic tinge in his voice, as if they’re already over. “Look, Levi,” he begins, lowering his eyes, “I’ve fallen out of love.”

The words deliver like a punch to Levi’s gut. It takes all the fight out of him, and he finally relents. He leans away from Erwin and falls back heavily on his heels. Levi regards the blond closely. He used to pride himself on knowing when Erwin’s frustrated by his huffy sighs as he works and when Erwin’s happy by his low humming as he shaves. Now, he’s staring at a blank wall, giving and telling him absolutely nothing.

“I think we had three wonderful years together,” Erwin says. He drums his fingers against the table. “But I don't enjoy being with you anymore. I'm sorry.”

Levi opens his mouth, bursting at the seams with a thousand different questions— _When did Erwin stop loving him? Can’t they try harder? What did Levi do wrong?_ _—_ but in the end, he remains silent. Erwin says he doesn't enjoy being with him anymore, but Levi knows what he really means is that he's gotten sick of Levi. Is it really worth asking these questions, rubbing salt on his fresh wounds, when Erwin’s already made his choice? Levi doesn’t think it is. He’s always hated messy things; if Erwin’s going to dump him, then at least Levi has the choice to make it a clean, swift end.

“Fine, then,” he says, clenching his jaw. “Let’s break up.”

Levi’s making this as easy as he possibly can, but Erwin doesn’t look a single bit relieved. “I’m sorry, Levi, I really am,” he repeats, his concerned blue eyes locked right on Levi’s face, gauging his reaction. Erwin’s a gentleman even when dumping him, Levi notes sourly, and it makes him sick. Erwin is the last person he wants pity from.

“Save it, you piece of shit,” Levi hisses. He turns his back on Erwin and reaches for his mug. The tea is stone cold, but he drinks it anyway. “You can take your sympathy and shove it up your ass.”

That’s Levi’s signal that he wants the conversation to be over. Levi knows Erwin got the hint when he hears a heavy sigh and rustling behind him.

“I’ll look into moving out as soon as possible,” Erwin promises, “but for tonight I’ll take the couch.”

Levi grunts in response. He’s always been fond of Erwin’s talkativeness, but the blonde’s trying to chat him up about _sleeping arrangements_ when he just broke up with him moments ago. It’s unbearably suffocating and he just wants him to shut up. It’s only when he hears Erwin shuffling off to the bathroom that he releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and relaxes his shoulders. Looking down into the darkness in his mug, Levi embraces the silence that engulfs him.

Levi wishes he feels something more than the void in his chest; he'd rather feel anything other than this emptiness. But he can't even find it in himself to be upset, let alone angry. From the very beginning, the day Erwin approached him at that dimly lit bar with a suave smile, he knew in the back of his head that he was playing with fire. He knew it would end like this.

  
Erwin is the sun—warm, bright, and beautiful—and Levi is anything but. A man like Erwin isn't meant to be with someone like him. The sun shines on all the flowers, but the flowers only know one sun.

**Author's Note:**

> So! I've begun yet another fic. I didn't think I'd have time for it since the semester started but alas, this was begging to be written~ I hope you liked it! Please look forward to the rest as well :) Kudos and comments are appreciated as always!


End file.
